Mercy triumphs over judgement

So, I just finished reading The Furious Longing of God, by Brennan Manning, and he had one thought in particular that has stuck with me.

"Is there a Zacchaeus in you life? Somebody that every body's given up on? Judged incapable of any further good? Grandaunt, distant cousin, spouse, former spouse, in-law, member of your church, neighbor on your street, colleague at work? Someone of whom you've said, "I've been wasting my time trying to make you understand anything. You are incorrigible. Thanks God, I'm quits and free of you. Don't you ever dare to darken my door again"? You probably wouldn't say that because that's cruel. I don't like to say cruel things either. They make me feel guilty and I don't want to feel guilty. So, I play it smooth; I call it cool cordiality and polite indifference. Good morning, you dork. In the churches across our land, we allow this garbage to masquerade as the love of Jesus."

I read this and I reread this. I thought, can he read my mind? This is exactly how I've felt about Daniel, my husband. But, what is this man trying to say? It sounds like he is saying that I need to love my husband who is not quite my husband anymore with the love of Christ. Manning goes on to say:

"Jesus said you are to love one another as I have loved you, a love that will possibly lead to the bloody, anguished gift of yourself; a love that forgives seventy times seven, that keeps no score of wrongdoing. Jesus said this, this love, is the one criterion, the sole norm, the standard of discipleship in the New Israel of God. He said you're going to be identified as His by one sign only: the deep and delicate respect for one another, the cordial love impregnated with reverence for the sacred dimension of the human personality because of the mysterious substitution of Christ for the Christian."

What an awesome and significant challenge: Love those who are hard to love, Love those who have hurt you, Love those who everybody else has given up on, Love those, with the same love that Christ has loved us with. I'm going to tell you that this is not easy. It goes against our human nature. Our you-hurt-me-I-hurt-you nature. Our I'll-just-wash-my-hands-of-you nature. But, that's the point isn't it? When we submit our lives to Christ, we take on His nature. We die to self.

The question I ask myself with my current situation in mind is: How does this play itself out practically? How do I love my estranged husband with the love of Christ? Since I accepted Manning's challenge to not be that cordially cool or polite indifferent person, situations have come up where I have been able to practice that love in action. My fear about showing love or mercy was that I would get hurt, that it would be me letting my guard down too much, that it would be me letting my husband get away with something (like it was my job to make sure he didn't forget what he'd done). What I have found instead is peace, contentment, and joy, when I have responded with love rather than cool indifference. I don't want to been known as the woman who was able to be cordial or polite in the midst of a difficult situation, I want to be know as a woman who shows the love of Christ, no matter what the situation.

Happy? Anniversary

Twenty-one years ago today I got married. Thinking back over the events of the past couple years the question arises in my mind, did I make a mistake way back when? As I think back over my life as a married woman, I have to respond with a resounding NO! It wasn't easy, don't get me wrong, but the blessings in my life have far outweighed the difficulties. God finds a way to use any situation for our good and for His glory, especially the circumstances we get ourselves in to by our own will. Two things I see in my life that I would not have if it were not for my marriage. The first, I would not have my four wonderful children. What a blessing they have been in my life. My favorite roll in life thus far has been being the mother of Danielle, Joshua, Robin, and JoJo. The second, is the close relationship that I have developed with Christ. I don't know if it were not for the difficulties I have experienced through my marriage, if I would have developed such a precious relationship with Him. So, in that way, I have been thankful for the years of difficulty. As my anniversary comes and goes I thank God for the way He has helped me see the best of the last 21 years, and I look forward to a new season as a single person, and to what awesome things He has for me there as well.