They say God works in mysterious ways and I can attest to the fact that He does. We don't always know why things happen the way they do or why they happen at all, but His Word says that He has "plans...for you...to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you hope and a future." (Jer 29:11) It also says that He works "all things...for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Rom 8:28) I find much peace in the fact that He has a plan for us and that His plan is for our good. When those times of uncertainty come I can find peace and rest when I relinquish control-or my self deceived belief that I had control in the first place-into His loving hands. I love when He reveals to us the purpose of a particular storm, trial, or circumstance, or when He reveals part of the plan. I know some things will not be revealed until we are with Him face to face.
Since my bout with cancer, I have had the privilege to walk alongside others who also had/have cancer. This is one way God has revealed to me at least part of His plan for my life. Two particular women will always be close to my heart. The first was Kyla, whom I met while I was going through treatment. We became fast friends. She was 31 and the mother of two young children. She came to know Christ only a couple of months before she passed away, and I was blessed to speak at her funeral of the hope that she had found in Him. My prayer for her family was that through her life and death they too, would come to know Christ for themselves. I was blessed to be a part of her life, albeit only for a short time, and to see how God used my pain to comfort someone else.
Two years later I met DW. She was a friend I connected with through my work with the Chemo Crew. There have been many ways I have seen the hand of God at work through this relationship. I believe that God has used this relationship to challenge and grow me, and I am thankful for that. DW ended up in the hospital again right before Christmas. Around that time, work started to slow down and I was waiting for my fingerprints to be cleared for another part time job. I had time on my hands, so I would go to the hospital and sit with her. I remember kinda whining to God about how I needed more work because money was getting tight, but week after week it remained slow and my fingerprints were taking forever to clear. Some days I didn't have any work so I would take a book and go sit at the hospital for hours. Some days we would talk, while other days she just slept. When the cancer started getting the better of her she was moved to Hospice House. The chaplain would come in and we would sing to her. I would go in and sing to her. She would always say, "thank you" whenever one of the volunteers came in to say hello. Even when you thought she was too out-of-it she was always listening. I started to realize that this time might have been carved out for me by my awesome Father who knew DW needed a friend. Maybe there was a reason work was slow and my fingerprints were inexplicably delayed. I stopped my whining and started being thankful for the time that was made available for me to spend with my friend. I went in last Tuesday to see her and she was kind of awake. I talked to her a bit, although she wasn't really talking, and when I was getting ready to leave she said, "I love you". Thursday was the last time I saw her. She was doing poorly. I sat with her for a few hours. I sang to her, then the chaplain came in and we sang some old Baptist hymns together. Thursday evening I got a message that my fingerprints had been cleared, and when I went in to see her Friday, she was gone. She had passed away Thursday evening. Wow! I feel blessed, so very blessed to have been a part of DW's life for the past year. Also, I am grateful that my Lord saw fit to allow me to be with her so much the last couple months.
I may not always be able to recognize His hand in all circumstances, or His plans for me, but He has proven to me time and time again that I can trust Him, so I will rest in His loving care.
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